Idol Chatter: Stayin' (Barely) Alive

It's down to the top four on "American Idol," which means it's time these girls (and boy) prove to us that they're in it to win it. But judging by last night's performances, ain't nobody in it to win nothin'. Except our criticism, of course.

Under guidance from a very tan and graying Bee Gee Barry Gibb, the remaining contestants each performed two songs from the legendary singer/songwriter/jive talker's catalog.

As Paula noted, we're really looking for someone to "wow" us, and although Melinda's vocals were spot-on per usual, nothing else stood out for her. The latter half of "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" came close, but she could have ventured out of her comfort zone a bit further.

Maybe J.I. just doesn't care for contestants who bank on gimmicks period (cough, Gina Glocksen, Chris Daughtry, Bo Bice, Taylor Hicks, Ace Young, Constantine Marouarousoroulis, Joshua Gracin, cough), but we're officially done with Blake. We are not, nor ever will be, impressed by the beatboxing. To home with him.

LaKisha was back to shouting her way through a slow-tempo "Stayin' Alive," which was disappointing after her stellar performance last week. The Bee Gee said Jordin is "going to be one of our greatest female recording artists," which obviously jinxed her before she launched into a "pageantry" rendition of Barbara Streisand's "Woman in Love."

Twas a painful night for the kids indeed. Nonetheless it was worth watching if only for Seacrest bringing back "Seacrest, out!" Holl-a!