Idol Chatter: Sandy Eggo

Congratulations, you're going to Hollywood! From San Diego, it's a mere 130 miles north and a 4.5 hour drive if you hit traffic at the wrong time! Better leave now to make it to the Hollywood rounds!

The good: Aussie Michael Johns. Cute, nice voice, engaging personality. But, since this show's mantra in the audition rounds is that good isn't worth much time, let's move on.

The bad: J.I.'s fear going in was that they were going to hit all the San Diego stereotypes in the auditions: Military, Surfer, Barbie. To my surprise, they bypassed all of those and went straight to Hippie-Dippy Lunatic. Alberto Hurtado, I salute you for both raising and lowering my expectations at the same time.

With flowing locks, impossible-to-type long nails and the unsettling, pathos-laden middle distance stare of someone who is either going to hug you or kill you, Hurtado might actually be end-of-season breakdown Paula's soulmate. There were eagles and flowers and, hell, maybe even unicorns and a dance with bedazzled fans, and a song about misery. It was like a Frida Kahlo painting come to life, with fewer monkeys.

The ugly: As they pound into our brains, thousands upon thousands of people turn out for the "Idol" auditions. So why do we get repeats from previous seasons? Eleven-time auditioner (Eleven! Yes, there's a stage mom involved.) Blake Boshnack? Stop. Please. You're not going to make it on the show. You had a pretty good gig going as the Statue of Liberty guy who only got three syllables out in Season Five. Quit when you're ahead, my friend.

And Carly Smithson, with the Maori-face tattooed husband? You're talented, yes. And I'm sorry your visa got jacked up a couple years back and you couldn't go to the Hollywood rounds. But I'd take that as a fortuitous sign. You know how they're going to position a woman with a full-sleeve tat on this show? They're going to make you sing Joan Jett for seven rounds in a row and then start yammering that you're "repetitive" and you "need to grow" and then they'll force you to sing something by Brooks & Dunn and then complain that you didn't "make it your own." Run!