Worst Dressed? Pop Singers.
It's at this drag-ass time of year, when all of the nog has gone bad in the back of the fridge, that Mr. Blackwell trots out his annual worst dressed list. J.I. could not help sneaking a peek. Yeah, Mr. Blackwell, you got us.
Lo and behold, the five women at the top of the list of this 48th(!) installment are from the music world (J.I. is counting Mary-Kate Olsen, who made tons of kiddie records with her twin back in the day...er... a few years ago). What? No A-list actresses in the upper-echelon of sartorial suck? No newly minted royals? Nope, this year the singers have it. When was the last time that happened?
5. Kelly Clarkson
At number five is Kelly Clarkson, whose tour-downsizing 2007 was already not-so-hot without Blackwell capping the annum by using the words "bombs" and "hellish" to describe her style.
The Black Eyed Peas chanteuse was on the charts in 2007 being both "Glamorous" and "Fergilicious" but that didn't save her from landing at number four, with Blackwell calling her ensembles "couture chaos."
3. Mary-Kate Olsen
Okay, okay, she's far better known as an actress and for slouching around New York and L.A. being seen, but the little girls used to looourve them some Olsen twins records. But 21-year-old Mary-Kate is all growed up now, so Blackwell didn't go easy on her, calling her look "cut-rate kitsch" and saying she looked like a "toothpick trapped in a hurricane!" (Exclamation point his.)
2. Amy Winehouse
Yeah, this one was almost too obvious. Mr. Blackwell, don't you get it? The beehive is messy on purpose. She's not auditioning for Hairspray, you know. Her breakthrough hit is called "Rehab." Nevertheless, octogenarian Mr. Blackwell -- who remembers the Eisenhower era, no doubt -- doesn't resist labeling her a "car-hop horror." Ok buddy, but she does have more Grammy nominations than you, so there's that.
1. Victoria Beckham
Becks is a Spice Girl, remember? And they were known for singing and dancing, remember? The group even reunited last year. Mr. Blackwell, who graciously included the Girls on his 1998 list ("the only spices with no taste"), puts Victoria at the head of his list this year for "one skinny-mini monstrosity after another." Really, Victoria Beckham beat out everyone else? Everyone?
And so, because your heart is black, you are wondering where worst dressed alumna Britney Spears placed on this year's tally. Blackwell didn't put her on the list at all, essentially out of respect for what a hell-year she's had. Whoa! What does it mean when even an arbiter of bad taste feels its "inappropriate" to dis her duds "when her personal life is in such upheaval" and instead offers her hopes for a better new year?