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Idol Chatter: Memphis On Our Mind

Judges1_3_2The "American Idol" judges have caught a lot of flak lately for allegedly being too callous this season, but Jaded Insider feels their behavior is justified and expected. There is an obvious talent deficiency this time around, plus it's not like these contestants don't know what they're in for.

It's the same judging shtick year after year, so when Simon says he's ready to gouge out his eardrums and some tube top-clad 23-year-old mother of eight gets her dreams shattered on national television, we fail to even bat an eyelash anymore.

In any case, the Seattle auditions last week left us with a sour taste in our mouth, and we were reluctant to tune back in for Memphis last night. Fortunately, J.I. finished the episode with a glimmer of hope, albeit a strikingly unattractive one (we never said we weren't superficial).

For instance, Sundance Head's (yes, Sundance Head) smooth, soulful vocals blew us away, but come on, that beard has got to go. Chino Moreno looks all wrong singing "Stormy Monday."

The Shawn guy from Arkansas admitted he looked like the love child of Bin Laden and Jesus, and we're pretty sure we stepped over him in the gutter on our way to work this morning, but boy, he sure knew how to get funky on Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down."

Randy didn't care for the appearance of the Michael Stipe look-a-like, but he and Paula nonetheless praised his chops. We were partial to neither, but congrats to him on the baby!

Background singer Melinda Doolittle broke the Memphis mold with her cute looks, modest personality and killer set of pipes. Simon said she was in the top 2% of good singers the competition has seen thus far, and we definitely hope to see much more of her come Hollywood.

Memphis, of course, had its fair share of train wrecks. Chris Revere sounded like a lisped Backstreet Boy on speed, Timika Sims was an unbearably sad sight to behold and we hope parents covered the eyes of their children as Janita's "handful" popped out of her dress.

The funniest performance of the night was at the end when that goofball danced around the issue of American troops to Iraq. Wait, that wasn't "American Idol?" Oh, well, good, he wouldn't get our vote anyway. On tap tonight: New York and a chick orgasming on stage. Stay tuned.

January 24, 2007 | Permalink


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When I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the most profound yet simple advice that changed the way I would view myself forever. He told me "You yourself have to think you're great because no one else is going to tell you that you are."

Posted by: tiffany silver | Jan 4, 2010 10:48:58 PM

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