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Idol Chatter: L.A. Gives Us The Blahs

Judges1_3_4Jaded Insider was downright bored with last night's "American Idol." At one point we even flipped the channel to the replay of last week's "Real World" episode. Yes, we chose Brooke hiking in her underwear over Ryan Seacrest. That right there is extreme boredom, folks.

This round of auditions came from L.A., home of last season's girl next door turned hey-look-at-my-slutty-new-album-cover Katharine McPhee. J.I. didn't technically catch McPheever last year, but we're pretty sure she has more talent than the pool that contaminated our set tonight.

Simon was all gung-ho about Alaina, whose vocals we thought were shaky and all over the place. But, she was hot, and Simon is a male, so you do the math. There was also Brandon, a former backup singer for Anastacia and Xtina, who seemed promising yet somewhat generic.

Even the annoying jerkoffs were in short supply. Will, an aspiring singer/model/actor/producer/author/optometrist/baker/telemarketer did some sort of routine that was half K-Fed/half panther, and we were creeped out when that one chick's mom said "she came out of the womb humming."

We genuinely admired the spirit and passion of the Taylor Hicks "sex change" girl, yet were completely baffled that she had worse dance moves than Mr. Soul Patrol himself. J.I. also wants some of whatever it was the guy from Compton was smoking, although his lip-licking girlfriend should probably keep her distance.

The most touching story of the night was Sherman, the 64-year-old man who brought Paula to tears (and probably would have made guest judge Olivia Newton-John cry too had her face not turned plastic). His "lady love" worked with him to acquire 330 petition signatures to audition for the show before she died. He sang "You Belong to Me" and dedicated it to her, and in his follow-up interview proclaimed, "I won. I am a winner." We'll admit it, we teared up, too.

Next week: San Antonio, the FINAL city in the first round of auditions. Thank God. Then the real fun begins.

February 1, 2007 | Permalink


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