Idol Chatter: Over for Overmyer

Oh, Kristy Lee Cook. You just can’t catch a break, can you. First you’re forced to sell your pony to get on the show. Then you blend in among the 87 Taylor Swift-lookalikes who made it through to Hollywood, failing to establish yourself as anything more than that one Taylor Swift-lookalike who sold her pony to get on the show. You barely made it out of the bottom three last week, and here you prepared for the same fate this week.

Somewhere deep down in the pit of your stomach you knew you were safe, didn’t you, and there was a look of regret in your face after you found out we'll be forced to zone out your insufferable wailing for at least one more week. You’re like Haley Scarnato, minus the greased-up legs, or Sanjaya, minus the sister with the big rack. You just won’t go away. Feels kinda like a cruel trick on your fans’ behalf, dunnit. Know that we’re not voting for you, Kristy Lee Cook. We want you reunited with your pony and reveling in your small-town fame just as much as you do. We’re just glad you’re not from our neck of the woods in Nebraska.

And Amanda. Poor, poor Amanda. Don’t you worry that poorly dyed little head of yours. This is nothing a trip on the Harley and a bottle of Jack won’t fix. Just don’t combine the two. You were already in one car accident this year. The last thing you want is to be that “Idol” knock-off who has to eat through a tube (you won’t make much money that way, either). Just know that if you’re ever in a bar, the next round is on us. And if you feel the desire to jump up and do karaoke, we’ll buy several rounds, as we’ll personally require that much liquor to watch you slur your way through “Ramble On” and attempt some pathetic mic stand trick.

Finally, Randy – next time you decide to spend a good 20 seconds checking out the backside of Kellie Pickler, please give us advanced notice so we can change the channel. The only thing that makes us more uncomfortable is when Seacrest pretends he’s not into men.