Idol Worship: Best To Worst Of Rock Night

Is it just us or does this year’s Idol feel like the longest season ever? Oh wait, it is! And here we are two weeks away from the finale, with a presumptive winner basically going through the motions, and it all couldn’t end soon enough. Of course, not before the last four standing desecrated all that is good and pure in rock-n-roll.

Slash mentored the group this week, offering screaming pointers and the like, but it really came down to comfort zone. Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta were clearly in theirs, but for Kris and Danny, the theme was more of a challenge (not to mention the lack of proper run-through due to an earlier set calamity). And there was the duet aspect to kick up the ante. What a great twist! They should introduce it in the semifinals to speed up the whole process. Plus, it’s a good way to see who’s the attention whore in any given performance, and which contestant truly carries the tune. In the end, they could have gone with a whole Guitar Hero/Rock Band theme and really put their skills to the test by making the contestants play along. Ha! Maybe next year. As for our inevitable future victor Mr. Lambert, his performances didn’t make the top of our list, but read on for the third to last(!)Idol Worship best to worst ranking…

1. Allison Iraheta – “Cry Baby” / “Slow Ride”
Slash didn’t exactly pump Allison up in his pre-performance segment. “If she pulls it off,” he said of her choice to sing Janis Joplin’s intricate “Cry Baby.” But it turns out she had way more confidence on the Idol stage than her male counterparts. Even if the judges didn’t appreciate the difficultly of Janis’ verses, criticizing Allison for hanging her performance on the choruses, the fact that she pulled off such a gut-wrenching blues number (which happened to fit her voice perfectly), speaks volumes of her potential. Another example why Allison is prime Idol material? She totally gets it. An obviously astute student of the show, she knew that picking “Piece Of My Heart” would have been another “been there, done that” Idol moment. As for (finally) speaking up post-judging (and refusing to beg - you go, girl!), it may have endeared her to TV audiences even more. But in the end, it was all about the duet with Adam, where the two went toe-to-toe trading verses on Foghat’s “Slow Ride.” Dare we say, Allison out-sung the frontrunner, but it doesn’t mean she’ll win. Sill, she’s safe for another week.

2. Adam Lambert – “Whole Lotta Love” / “Slow Ride”
In case there was any doubt who the judges are rooting for at this stage in the competition, it was all put to rest following Adam’s opening number. Considering the tidal wave of compliments, Simon and the gang might as well hold up their own glittertastic Glambert signs. And forget being an American Idol, Kara and Paula are calling this guy a “rock god,” on par with Robert Plant himself. Sacrilege, we tell you. Here’s how we saw his performances: the hair and outfits bordered on ridiculous, from the skin-tight jester pants to the abundance of studs on his leather jacket (and did Kara and Adam coordinate their outfits Tuesday night?); his vocals were even screechier than usual, despite Slash’s advice to tone it down, and he took too many unnecessary liberties with the song. Bottom line: he’s not only getting old, he’s looking it, too. But, compared to compatriots Kris and Danny, it’s no contest. Adam, for all his Broadway bravado, has the goods, and with the judges’ endorsement, he’s pretty much unstoppable.

3. Kris Allen – “Come Together” / “Renegade”
Rock was considered a challenge for Kris, or at least presented that way by Seacrest, but we didn’t see it as that big a hurdle. After all, anyone who can grab a guitar out of Slash’s hand and shred competently isn’t entirely out of place. In fact, we’d rank Kris higher than Adam were it not for the duet he had to sing with Danny. The rough and tumble “Renegade” dragged them both down. As for the solo number, we had no issues with his choice or delivery. He didn’t overindulge, rather he paid respect to a classic by the world’s greatest rock band by adding his own subtleties. Plus, he played the guitar, which would’ve been a major handicap for any and all of his three competitors. And if you think about it, can’t you see Paul McCartney having an easier time sitting through that performance than if Robert Plant were watching Lambert? Poor Kris. After the harsh comments from the judges, it looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. He knows he could go home tomorrow, but he should stay.

4. Danny Gokey – “Dream On” / “Renegade”
By now, even people who don’t watch Idol have probably heard about the finale to Danny Gokey’s “Dream On,” and the last note that may have done him in. But it wasn’t just the glass-shattering Howard Dean shriek that put him in the danger zone, Danny’s performances were rough all over — from his lack of creativity to the sheer poser vibe of it all. Plus, had he been paying attention (like Allison), he would’ve figured out that “Dream On” is the kiss of death as far as song choices go, and he only had to look back one season to Michael Johns. So maybe Danny is this year’s Elliott Yamin — he’ll make it to the final three, do the hometown visit, drop by his church, etc. — or maybe tomorrow the good lord will take him away.